I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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