That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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