Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
