I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
