you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
