My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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