if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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