She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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