it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
