the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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