sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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