I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize