Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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