last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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