I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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