saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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