Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
