Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
