I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize