Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
