so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
