Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
