Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
