But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
