So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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