He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
