You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
