Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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