But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
