It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
