is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
