What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
