come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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