I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
