I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
