Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
