my mouth tastes like poor choices
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
