it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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