they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
