I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
