well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
