how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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