Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
