I'm gonna have a badass scar
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
