You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
