come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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