Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
