i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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