i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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