I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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