YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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