I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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