I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so let's talk penis.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
