I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
