Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I understand Curling. That high.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
