please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
