Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
