he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
