walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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