he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
