You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I think I am morally bankrupt
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
